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"So I then had lots of money and I told her I was ready to be with her. She said, 'I don't care, I have two guys staying here now.' "A word to the wise: Look that girl in the eyes." "I met a guy on Craigs List and we had our first date.

And in the middle of telling me things that he liked to do and talking about his ex-wife he goes from 'we liked sailing and buying antiques' to 'and I like corsets ...' Excuse me, corsets?

"This might have been a funny story if it weren't for the fact that people need a little loving and, God, sometimes it's sad all the (stuff) they have to go through to find some." Amen, brother.

"She had just gotten a house to live in that belonged to her grandmother.

I was out at happy hour with girls from work when he texted asking if I wanted to get a drink.

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