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There is no distinct beginning or end to each phase -- they're actually all part of a continuous process of sexual response.
Keep in mind that this is a very general outline of what happens to each of us as we become sexually aroused.
I secretly hoped marriage would fix it, could erase it, would be the only thing powerful enough to take this incredible burden away.
While most of us are sure that we like to have sex, most of us also haven't spent much time thinking about what happens physiologically while we are engaged in the act.
You want him to do X, but if you tell him to do X it ruins it because then he would be doing it because you told him to and not because his emotions/love for you told him to.
Then you say: He should know to do it, I shouldn’t have to tell him.
Coercive control is when your intimate partner has tried to keep you from seeing or talking to family or friends made decisions that should have been yours to make kept track of you by demanding to know where you were and what you were doing made threats to physically harm you threatened to hurt him/herself or commit suicide because s/he was upset threatened to hurt a pet or take a pet away threatened to hurt someone you love threatened to take your children away from you kept you from leaving the house when you wanted to go kept you from having your own money to use destroyed something that was important to you.