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I don’t know how, I don’t know when and I don’t know much about professional sports anymore because I stopped paying attention in 8th grade when I discovered my penis.', Schlossberg jokingly advises his peers on how to be a gentleman by always complaining about the beer they are drinking, never reading in private and always wearing 'at least one piece of leather' ..'leather clothing must never have a zipper, for this is far too functional and has connotations of the peasantry of Urban Outfitters.'He also advises, 'When discussing your parents, which cannot be done enough, never use a possessive.

Always say “Father” or “Mother,” as if they are everyone’s parents.

She wrote for the student newspaper there and she is now a staff writer at the Northern New Jersey newspaper, The Record.

'The president was off his game [during the first presidential debate], and there’s only one explanation: Governor Romney got in his head, under his skin, between his toes, inside his ear, and then he tickled his nose,' Schlossberg wrote in the 'In other words, Romney psyched Obama out.

He retired from the postal service in February 1990.

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